When times are hard,
and my voice is gone,
and I weep into the night:
He is Glory
He is Holy
He hears my sigh tonight...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
There's the Day
There's the day where your head feels like a fully soaked sponge. If anyone were to come squeeze you, even touch you the slightest bit, you'd start unloading all your "water worries/thoughts/ideas/etc" on them and be fully drained of all things thought provoking and complicated.
There's the day when your mind is a big blank page. Flat, white, 2D and completely empty of all thoughts.
There's the day when your mind is a big blank page. Flat, white, 2D and completely empty of all thoughts.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Boy Am I A Grump Today
This morning I woke up. Besides a jarring headache, a raw sore throat and an earache, hey! I was bloody wonderful!
I went down stairs, grabbed my Bible and my bible study book and went up stairs for some God time. (That sounds slightly weird, doesn't it? God time. Moving on.) For thirty minutes I was doing good. (Probably because I wasn't focused on myself.)
Then all hell broke loose. Something similar to that of a tightly stretched rubber band broke in my head. Every time someone said something my responses were tinged with a scowl and sounded something like, "Yeah. Fine. What?" And if you've ever seen Ellie mad, you'll know there was very little, if any, good-natured expression in those words. I lumbered around the house like a grouchy bear, wrapped in a blanket.
The end of this story? Well, quite frankly, there isn't one. I'm still a grump.
The moral to this story? I haven't found one yet. I'm not about to look positively on a morning such as this.
Jesus please forgive me, because I know not what I do. Heh (I got a snort out of myself on that one.)
Knock it off, Ellie. Don't joke around with Jesus' personal quotes.
Sheesh.
I went down stairs, grabbed my Bible and my bible study book and went up stairs for some God time. (That sounds slightly weird, doesn't it? God time. Moving on.) For thirty minutes I was doing good. (Probably because I wasn't focused on myself.)
Then all hell broke loose. Something similar to that of a tightly stretched rubber band broke in my head. Every time someone said something my responses were tinged with a scowl and sounded something like, "Yeah. Fine. What?" And if you've ever seen Ellie mad, you'll know there was very little, if any, good-natured expression in those words. I lumbered around the house like a grouchy bear, wrapped in a blanket.
The end of this story? Well, quite frankly, there isn't one. I'm still a grump.
The moral to this story? I haven't found one yet. I'm not about to look positively on a morning such as this.
Jesus please forgive me, because I know not what I do. Heh (I got a snort out of myself on that one.)
Knock it off, Ellie. Don't joke around with Jesus' personal quotes.
Sheesh.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
It's December Twenty-Second
To tell the honest truth, (because that is something you want to hear, correct?) I don't know why I'm writing a blog this evening. Then again... I never really know what I'm going to write a blog post about; that is, not until I sit down and start writing.
This evening my family and I watched The Lion King. Disney. Classic. Oh, how I love Disney. Lately I've decided to re-watch all of the Disney classics (you know, the animated ones; I'm not talking Miley Cyrus, or any of that disappointing garbage [sorry, but it's true]) and I've realized they're just as fabulous now as they were when I was five years old. :) The same lovable characters, the same hand twisting situations, the same catchy music that you end up singing for weeks (and I do too, don't you think I don't)... It's all absolutely perfect. Sigh. It's really good to know that there are a few very pure, simple things from my childhood that will never change.
The funny thing? I saw some things (good things, of course) in the movie that I had never noticed as a child. For example, though this is very minor and not at all difficult to see, I noticed at the end of the movie when Nala, Simba, Timon, and Pumba are standing on Pride Rock above all of the animals, Timon has his hands clasped and raised in the air, rooting himself on. Hahahahaha. Sigh... *wipes a tear of laughter from her eyes*
Just a thought. Throughout this winter season I've realized how much I've been placing God in a box. Several times throughout this month Mom has had us read excerpts from books that talk about God in a BIG sense; not boxing him up. For example, when praying, I notice I say things like, "God help me with this, show me that, blah blah blah", instead of recognizing that he is so much bigger than those acts I'm asking him to complete. I know he uses acts such as the ones I'm asking of him, but I've become self-centered in my prayers and my relationship with him. Instead of saying "God you are great, I trust in You with all of my heart, do as you will with me" and then allow him to refine me through whatever way he chooses, I fit him in my little compartmentalized brain where I can fully comprehend him and his works.
Goal: to let God reign over me, not with the works that I desire to occur, but with the mind boggling, fearfully incredible, unexpected acts that He chooses for that specific moment.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white....
This evening my family and I watched The Lion King. Disney. Classic. Oh, how I love Disney. Lately I've decided to re-watch all of the Disney classics (you know, the animated ones; I'm not talking Miley Cyrus, or any of that disappointing garbage [sorry, but it's true]) and I've realized they're just as fabulous now as they were when I was five years old. :) The same lovable characters, the same hand twisting situations, the same catchy music that you end up singing for weeks (and I do too, don't you think I don't)... It's all absolutely perfect. Sigh. It's really good to know that there are a few very pure, simple things from my childhood that will never change.
The funny thing? I saw some things (good things, of course) in the movie that I had never noticed as a child. For example, though this is very minor and not at all difficult to see, I noticed at the end of the movie when Nala, Simba, Timon, and Pumba are standing on Pride Rock above all of the animals, Timon has his hands clasped and raised in the air, rooting himself on. Hahahahaha. Sigh... *wipes a tear of laughter from her eyes*
Just a thought. Throughout this winter season I've realized how much I've been placing God in a box. Several times throughout this month Mom has had us read excerpts from books that talk about God in a BIG sense; not boxing him up. For example, when praying, I notice I say things like, "God help me with this, show me that, blah blah blah", instead of recognizing that he is so much bigger than those acts I'm asking him to complete. I know he uses acts such as the ones I'm asking of him, but I've become self-centered in my prayers and my relationship with him. Instead of saying "God you are great, I trust in You with all of my heart, do as you will with me" and then allow him to refine me through whatever way he chooses, I fit him in my little compartmentalized brain where I can fully comprehend him and his works.
Goal: to let God reign over me, not with the works that I desire to occur, but with the mind boggling, fearfully incredible, unexpected acts that He chooses for that specific moment.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white....
Friday, December 18, 2009
In the ____
I lay silently under the Christmas tree. Not a sound can be heard, but the mute twinkle of the lights. It is a night of contemplation. A time to consider all that I have been given.
"For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation." - Psalms 62:1
"For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation." - Psalms 62:1
Saturday, December 12, 2009
December Passes Quietly... Or So It Would Seem
It's so easy to be unsatisfied. Erg. One moment you're living life to the fullest and the next you're looking at pictures of other peoples lives and wondering "what am I missing?"
That's a bad thing, Ellie. None of that now.
Honestly though, I feel very lucky--no, blessed--to be right where I am with what I have. Perhaps I should just remind myself of that more often. It would be a good thing to do.
Today one of the first snows of the year came. It was fluffy and pure white and magnificently perfect; if there is indeed such a thing. Due to tradition--with an added twist, thanks to the Emards :)-- we watched White Christmas. Is it just me, or does that movie never ever ever get old? Every time I watch it, my smile gets bigger and my heart finds little details I wrap up and hold inside me. I'm starting to think I have an obsession with loyalty and traditions. Sigh. Oh well... :)Those aren't THE worst things to have an obsession with. Nothing like Twilight. AHH!
That's it. I can't stand it any longer. If I hear one more girl exclaim over how "hot Jacob is" or how "mysterious Edward is" I think I'll blow steam out of my ears and breath fire! Honestly girls, why? The obsession that Bella has with Edward is unhealthy. Did you hear me? UNHEALTHY. Yes, it's okay to like a guy, to think he's mysterious, even on occasion (though I honestly don't think it's the kind of compliment you should be giving someone) to call him hot, but to not be able to live your life without being by him every second of every day? That's unhealthy and obsessive; as I said before. Besides, how many times to you have to read "his skin sparkled and was cold like marble" before you get tired of it? Okay, I confess. I have read the series. And actually, at one point I did like certain aspects of it--yes, I do like adventure and a little romance--but ever since the movies came out my flickering "like" has been doused and replaced by an all-consuming "DISLIKE". I shouldn't even be talking about this. It's not worth it. I'm just mad. Or foolish. Or maybe I'm right to be mad. Heh. Maybe... What I do know, though, is that I can't stand to see a ten year old little girl wearing a Twilight shirt and obsessing night and day over a fictional character(!) and claiming she's "in love". It breaks my heart. First of all, at the age of ten you don't know what real love is--believe me, I'm seventeen and I don't even know. Second of all, it's no wonder little girls think that they're in love if the media is telling them Edward and Bella's relationship is what true love looks like! Bella's obsession over Edward=true love. Little girls obsess over Edward=they think they're in love.
Grr... As you can tell it frustrates me. A lot. But I think I should just cool down and chill out. Being a good influence is all I can do about it right now. Unfortunately I don't have an influence over what the media produces. FORTUNATELY, I do have an influence on my future children's lives and the kids around me now. I just pray I can give sound advice at the time it's needed and not just rant about how much today's media infuriates me. 'Cuz... I do that a lot. Sigh.
Heh. I hope you're having a wonderful Christmas break, you guys.
Remember the reason for Christmas: Jesus' birth; the coming of a great and mighty King; the arrival of our Light and Savior in dark and lost world.
On a positive note Isaiah 9:6 says,
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
Goodnight one and all. May God bless you this Christmas and may you see those blessings in full.
That's a bad thing, Ellie. None of that now.
Honestly though, I feel very lucky--no, blessed--to be right where I am with what I have. Perhaps I should just remind myself of that more often. It would be a good thing to do.
Today one of the first snows of the year came. It was fluffy and pure white and magnificently perfect; if there is indeed such a thing. Due to tradition--with an added twist, thanks to the Emards :)-- we watched White Christmas. Is it just me, or does that movie never ever ever get old? Every time I watch it, my smile gets bigger and my heart finds little details I wrap up and hold inside me. I'm starting to think I have an obsession with loyalty and traditions. Sigh. Oh well... :)Those aren't THE worst things to have an obsession with. Nothing like Twilight. AHH!
That's it. I can't stand it any longer. If I hear one more girl exclaim over how "hot Jacob is" or how "mysterious Edward is" I think I'll blow steam out of my ears and breath fire! Honestly girls, why? The obsession that Bella has with Edward is unhealthy. Did you hear me? UNHEALTHY. Yes, it's okay to like a guy, to think he's mysterious, even on occasion (though I honestly don't think it's the kind of compliment you should be giving someone) to call him hot, but to not be able to live your life without being by him every second of every day? That's unhealthy and obsessive; as I said before. Besides, how many times to you have to read "his skin sparkled and was cold like marble" before you get tired of it? Okay, I confess. I have read the series. And actually, at one point I did like certain aspects of it--yes, I do like adventure and a little romance--but ever since the movies came out my flickering "like" has been doused and replaced by an all-consuming "DISLIKE". I shouldn't even be talking about this. It's not worth it. I'm just mad. Or foolish. Or maybe I'm right to be mad. Heh. Maybe... What I do know, though, is that I can't stand to see a ten year old little girl wearing a Twilight shirt and obsessing night and day over a fictional character(!) and claiming she's "in love". It breaks my heart. First of all, at the age of ten you don't know what real love is--believe me, I'm seventeen and I don't even know. Second of all, it's no wonder little girls think that they're in love if the media is telling them Edward and Bella's relationship is what true love looks like! Bella's obsession over Edward=true love. Little girls obsess over Edward=they think they're in love.
Grr... As you can tell it frustrates me. A lot. But I think I should just cool down and chill out. Being a good influence is all I can do about it right now. Unfortunately I don't have an influence over what the media produces. FORTUNATELY, I do have an influence on my future children's lives and the kids around me now. I just pray I can give sound advice at the time it's needed and not just rant about how much today's media infuriates me. 'Cuz... I do that a lot. Sigh.
Heh. I hope you're having a wonderful Christmas break, you guys.
Remember the reason for Christmas: Jesus' birth; the coming of a great and mighty King; the arrival of our Light and Savior in dark and lost world.
On a positive note Isaiah 9:6 says,
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
Goodnight one and all. May God bless you this Christmas and may you see those blessings in full.
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